


looking up

by annmaterasu



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 14:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annmaterasu/pseuds/annmaterasu
Summary: accepting and forgiving himself was never easy. however, with the words of a certain pink-haired woman, he feels that maybe, there is hope for him after all.





	looking up

it was never easy for sasuke to forgive himself. after everything, he couldn't find the reason to forgive himself anymore. maybe accepting and forgiving himself just wasn't for him.

 

his friends and those who treasure him deeply had forgiven him, but he couldn't understand the fact why they had forgiven him that easily. that's why he had always questioned their actions ever since he came back to konoha from his two-year journey across the world.

 

oftentimes, he found himself wondering of the things that had changed during his trip. were there any changes with him at all? he couldn't tell.

 

but then, an incident happened just four days ago. one that he couldn't forget. it was nothing special though; it was just something that made him think of a lot.

 

it was that day sakura asked him out to eat dinner with him. it wasn't anything special. in fact, it was awkward. but thanks to sakura's endless rambling, it made the atmosphere a little lighter, then just like that, everything felt casual between them once again. which was a good thing, he supposes.

 

quietly with his thoughts, he recalled their conversation.

 

_"this is our first conversation ever since you returned," sakura tells him. "i couldn't even greet you at the gates when you came back. i was so busy at the hospital." she added, throwing him an apologetic smile. he only hummed at her as a response._

 

_clearing her throat, sakura decided to ask him something._

 

_"sasuke, how was your journey?"_

 

_a momentary silence engulfed the pair. sakura immediately felt queasy as the atmosphere tensed a little, causing her to fidget with the chopsticks on her right hand, the other clutching the hem of her shirt._

 

_sasuke didn't mind her asking that at all, in fact, he was kind of glad that she asked him about it. it meant that at least someone is willing to know what he had been through during his travels. at the very least, someone is concerned for him. even his blonde-haired idiot friend wouldn't dare ask him that. of course, sasuke wouldn't tell her that. that was something that he cannot do because of his pride._

 

_"it was fine." he replies carefully, his voice low but cool. he focused his gaze and attention on his food. "though, i don't think i've learned anything from it."_

 

_sakura hummed to herself, glancing at sasuke to her left side. he wasn't looking at her, he was solely focused on his food. sakura, cleared her throat, then chuckled softly afterwards._

 

_her laugh caught sasuke's attention._

 

_staring at her, she gave him a small smile before responding, "you definitely haven't changed at all." she joked. with that, sasuke resisted the urge to give her a smile. instead, he replied with a, "hm."_

 

_"but, sasuke... why do you think that you haven't learned anything from it at all?" sakura chose her words carefully._

 

_for a while, sasuke kept quiet. sakura waited for his response patiently, while she ate her food. then he sighed, closing his eyes as he slowly opened up to his team mate._

 

_"i couldn't forgive myself, sakura. the things that i have done before was completely unforgivable. i don't even understand how you guys decided to forgive me that easily."_

 

_he paused for a moment. sakura kept quiet and listened attentively to him, her eyebrows unconsciously creasing. she finds herself frowning at his response, deeply saddened by what he feels._

 

_then sasuke decided to continue._

 

_"self-acceptance and forgiveness is difficult, to me, at least. i don't deserve it." he finished, sighing inwardly._

 

_once again, silence dawned upon the two. sakura mused the thoughts to herself, while sasuke had a stoic expression on his face._

 

_after a while, sakura decided to speak up._

 

_"sasuke, it's true that self-acceptance and forgiveness is difficult. almost all of us have had an experience like that." she started, her voice unbelievably soft. sasuke found himself glancing and staring at the woman to his right, but did not say anything. he felt a sudden warmth surge through his body, but immediately shook the feeling off._

 

_"but you know, sasuke..." she looks up, stares back at sasuke then gave him a wide smile. "you can start by looking up."_

 

_for a genius like him, sasuke did not understand what she meant by that sentence at first. he kept quiet as his eyebrows raised in response, waiting for sakura to continue._

 

_"look up, sasuke. if you are always looking down, then everything will go down. but if you start looking up, things will surely look up." she finished, chuckling softly but nervously._

 

_sasuke finally, gave her a smile. it was small, but nonetheless, a smile. sakura once again finds herself entranced and surprised by his show of emotions, especially since **the** sasuke uchiha wouldn't dare give someone a smile unless it was someone who is dear to him. again, a warm feeling started to spread around his system, causing him to feel lightheaded and unexpectedly, happy._

 

_he couldn't admit it to her, but sakura is the only person who had this kind of effect to him._

 

_with that, he replies, "you're right."_

 

true enough, their conversation made him think a lot. sakura was right. instead of looking at the negative things about him, why don't he try to start looking from the positive ones and grow from the negative ones? after all, that's what one is supposed to do after encountering and experiencing the same thing that he had experienced.

 

and so, from that day onwards, sasuke started to look up. literally and figuratively. and when he does, he finds himself calming down to the blue shades of the sky. a warm and fuzzy sensation would spread around his body, and he thinks that maybe, there is hope for him after all.

 

and though he'd never admit it to sakura personally, he's forever grateful to her, and for her. because of sakura, sasuke finally found his light.

**Author's Note:**

> quick drabble about sasuke and sakura! i hope i did okay, it was actually my first time to write about them. thanks for reading! x


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